April 29, 2020

70 Pound Down!

After a two week stall the scale moved! YAS the scale moved! I am now 200.6 pounds and I can see ONEDERLAND just right around the corner.

I am so excited for my new life. I am enjoying my days more and more! Things that have changed for me with this weight loss are innumerable.

I know many struggle with their journey so I want to talk once again about HEADSPACE!

You have to be ready for this! YOU MUST BE READY FOR THIS! If you can’t control or tackle the issues that put you in this situation in the first place, you will have a burdened journey.

My journey involves sexual abuse and abandonment issues. Years ago I tackled them but sometimes they rear their ugly head. There are many ways these issues can manifest in our lives and for me it was eating! Food was comforting and even tho I longed to be a “normal” size I was always a BIG GIRL. When I grew up it was not cool to be a BIG GIRL. There was no big girl movement, there was no artists who spoke out about their stuggles, there were no champions of self love. When I was a “little-big girl” I had no role models for this. I just knew food was my everything. I could steal away and eat and be in peace. I was not being abused, I was not being teased, it was just me and what I was putting in my mouth.

I tried it all. Slimfast, Diet Pills, Cabbage Soup, Weight Watchers, Jenny Craig, fasting….UGH! It was quick fixes and failure. I was on a diet for most of my life.

When I had my LapBand I tackled the issues that haunted me all my life. I am not defined by sexual abuse, I am not defined by people who walked out of my life. I am my own person and I create the love and environment I live and walk in. Food….is not a hideaway anymore.

I am grateful that I decided to go ahead and get sleeved 10 years after my Lap Band failed. I am pleased that my cravings are gone and I a happy the haunting are in control.

Now instead of food, I tackle the issues that make me want to eat. In fact I only eat to live now and not live to eat.

Don’t be fooled that weightloss surgery is a fix all. It is NOT a magic pill. You will still have to exercise, you will still have to not cross your food boundaries, you will still have to DO THE WORK.

You MUST get in the right HEADSPACE, you MUST know you are worth fighting for! Your past is your past but it will become your present if you don’t face it head on. This life is a journey…..you get one journey…..GO GET IT, you are WORTH IT.

Only 30 more pounds till my goal of 170. Then I can focus on maintenance, but I will no longer let things of my past define my path.

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