November 8, 2019

What’s Wrong With Online WLS Groups

When you first think of WLS you immediately start your research. With today’s technology you can find so many Facebook, Instagram, Twitter and more support groups. Some are extremely supportive and been around for years….others….well let’s just say they can be a ceasepool of negative and judgemental people. How can you be judgemental when you in the same situation as others in your sub-community?

When I had my first surgery (Lap-Band) in 2009 there were not very many places to go for online support. Facebook did not have a lot of them and I found www.BariatricPal.com which I absolutely love. I have found many friends in there that I still talk to now! And I am still on there as well!

Now I see there are so many WLS groups on Facebook that I can’t count them all and let’s not get started on the Instagram community (no groups there but LOTS of people posting and sharing their journey’s! I LOVE IT!

But what I have found with the Facebook groups has been a bit shocking and upsetting. I have had to unsubscribe to many of these groups because the negativity and name calling was completely out of hand.

Example: A young lady who had lost 155 lbs posted a photo of her in her very moderate undewear and a sports bra. Nothing tasteless at all really. In fact I applaud those who are brave enough to post photos at all! It’s truly inspiring. Yet there was someone who immediately attacked her saying she was posting porn! Um, no….I’ve seen less clothing on the Hollywood Red carpets and on the beaches. She continued to say that the young lady should be ashamed of herself for being so forward and posing in a seductive way. Um…once again…are we looking at the same photo? The young lady handled it with grace but she did say, I have NEVER posted here before and I finally get up the nerve to post a after picture and get attacked. Nevermind, I won’t post again.

What purpose does this serve? Why are you attacking someone who lives in the same struggle as you? I could see if the young lady was posing like she was doing a Hustler centerfold but there was nothing showing that was inappropriate.

If you don’t like it, keep scrolling to another post. I am tired of mean people. I truly am. I have dealt with them my whole life. I have been called “Fat Bitch” or “Black Bitch” or “Zebra Bitch” so many times I can’t count and for stupid things like road rage. OMG people really? Hell at this point I will call it a upgrade just to be called “BITCH”

Hopefully that last paragraph made you laugh. But let’s get serious again. The Golden Rule should ALWAYS stand. “Do Unto Other’s As You Would Have Them Do Unto You” and “If you don’t’ have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all” In a world where is has become the norm to be a bully I’d like to see people be a little more kind and stop flying off at the mouth at a drop of a hat. How hard is it to be a GOOD HUMAN?

I reached out to that young lady and asked her if she was ok in a private message. And guess what…she was brave in the post but she was hurt and felt shunned and was thinking of leaving the group or just becoming a lurker to read what was going on. How does this benefit us if we can’t share our struggles, joys and concerns? The answer is…it doesn’t!

Listen, I work hard everyday to be the light in someone’s world. Imagine what that would do if we all did the same.

Think before you speak, you don’t know what struggles are going through!

Photo by Jude Beck on Unsplash

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